Becoming Vegan

I was vegan once. For about six months, I was the worst vegan you can imagine. Mostly that time consisted of me making odd dishes, dumping them in the trash because they were inedible, and then eating a bucket of Soy Delicious ice cream. Like I said, I was the worst vegan. My husband managed to last for a year, but I quickly returned to dairy and my vegetarian ways. The problem was, I gained weight as a vegetarian. I bounced up about 15 pounds during this time.

This was before we had kids. Once we had kids, I managed to keep the child and myself vegetarian for about six months. She ate a lot of baked tofu. But then my parents' constant worrying and a dietician who told me I was eating too many carbs convinced me to go back to meat. I was always hungry as a vegetarian. You're supposed to get sick and stuff after returning to meat, but I relished that first steak like a dog with a bone and never looked back.

Until this year. Eating meat was supposed to help me avoid diabetes by allowing me to eat protein that doesn't come pre-packaged with carbs, and thus not be hungry all the time. And it did, but I still ballooned up to over 100 pounds my ideal weight. And guess what? I became diabetic. Not only was I diabetic, but I also had high blood pressure and high cholesterol -- all of which increased my risk for heart disease (which killed my two grandfathers) and cancer (my mother had recently been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer). All of this prompted me to re-examine my diet and why I can't seem to stop with the sugar and all the refined crap that is soooo carb-loaded. I started to rethink my diet (again), and wonder how I could control the cravings and stop the cycle of weight gain. For six months, thanks to Weight Watchers. I managed to stop the gain and even lose 10 pounds - but over vacation, I regained five. The bottom line is I was consuming too much junk food, too much alcohol, and just not able to stick to my eating plans. Weight Watchers likes to say it isn't a diet, it's a lifestyle change, but the truth was, I hadn't changed my lifestyle. Not really. I'd change it for a week and then slip into my old ways. I'd log my food faithfully for four days, then forget for seven days. What I needed, I realized, was a wholesale, for-real lifestyle change.

So I started to think about switching from a "control the portion of bad things" mindset to a for-real lifestyle change. I knew from the past I did better with absolute rules. After all, I had managed to stay vegan for six months and then vegetarian for three years. So I started to think about a clean approach that would eliminate alcohol, sweets and refined foods. I also remembered a friend, who successfully lost weight as a vegetarian, had told me the key to staying full as a vegetarian wasn't necessarily adding protein, but eating waaaay more vegetables than a normal person. She would roast a pan of vegetables and eat them all, she said. That gave me fodder for rethinking my vegetarian experience. I also knew a lot of people who had lost weight being vegetarian, so that gave me fodder for rethinking my weight gain as a vegetarian. I mean, sure, I had gained 10-15 pounds as a vegetarian. But I'd gained 80-some pounds eating meat. So clearly, meat wasn't the solution. In fact, it might be part of the problem.

Meanwhile, my brother and his wife had become vegan. My brother becoming vegan was like The News of the Decade for my family. He was a big eater, and he loved to grill meat. His wife was a vegetarian, however, but I think she was probably an unhealthy vegetarian, like I had been, because she was having a lot of the weight-related health issues. They saw Forks over Knives and switched their diet. Suddenly, they were dropping weight and looked and felt better. They were a walking advertisement for the lifestyle.

But I'm a bit stubborn and was still wallowing in indecision when I heard an odd fact: Cows make friends for life. Now I'd heard a lot of vegan-propaganda (or facts, if you're vegan) in my life about cows and chickens and pigs, but this punched me in the guts. I'd had a calf in my childhood that I used to talk to and pretend we were friends. It wasn't a calf that would allow me to pet it, because it was part of a herd and there were bulls that would've chased me away, but every afternoon, I'd go out and talk to this calf while it was in the field that bordered our house, and this calf would chew it's cud and look at me just as if it understood. To my 10 year old mind, that made the calf my friend. And we had a great friendship until one day, the calf went away — probably to be sold to raise for beef. Well, the idea that I had betrayed a potentially life-long friend just blew my mind. I found my commitment.

I broke the news to my husband, (now a meat-eater himself), as if I were telling him his best friend had died. I wasn't just asking him to be vegan — I was asking him to really clean up our eating in terms of refined foods, sugars and oils. I wanted a low-fat, low-perservatives, low-sugar, vegan lifestyle. He took the news well, which is good because he is the primary cook in our household and I'm not sure I could do it without him. We agreed to finish the food in the house and move to a whole-foods, plant-based, healthy lifestyle. I stopped drinking alcohol and eating meat that day.

Our plan was to eat up what was in the house. My first day, I made a green smoothie with the left-over yogurt in the house. The next day, I replaced the yogurt with the coconut milk. Just having a green smoothie — lots of spinach, frozen fruit and a little liquid — made me feel better. I don't know if that's all the spinach or if it's psychological, and I don't care. The second day, I bought vegan bean burgers from the freezer section of my grocery, and that became my go-to food until I could figure out the rest. I also brought some whole wheat bread my brother recommended (no sugar, no milk). The third day, I made a rice bowl, which was all vegetarian except I used chicken broth to make the rice. That day, I also updated our meal plans for the week with recipes from Forks Over Knives website. I borrowed FOK recipe books from the library, and bought a FOK magazine I found a local health food store. Everyday, I'm buying a few more new grocery items (fresh fruit, clean freezer foods, whole foods that are naturally sweet such as dates, and vegan staples such as nutritional yeast), cooking something vegan, and adding recipes. Instead of drinking, I read, go for a walk, or -- in the case of last night -- go to bed super early so I'm rested enough to maintain my willpower.

Since I'm diabetic, I also invested in a book on how going vegan can affect diabetes. I was pleased to see the book didn't say I needed to watch the carb count. It provides the science behind a whole-grains, plant-based lifestyle. I know some of these diet books can cherry-pick research, but the truth is, I wasn't doing a great job watching my carbs before this. I want to see if the diet will work without carb counting. I haven't noticed any obvious effects --  no sugar crashes so far that I can tell. If my bloodwork doesn't improve, then I'll add carb counting and revisit. I'm due for my six month checkup, but because I've started this new diet, I plan to wait six weeks. That won't be enough to measure the full results on an A1C, which tests three months, but it should show improvements since that's a month and a half.

Why share all of this? Mostly I thought it'd be interesting to document this change for myself and see if I do, in fact, feel more energetic and better. I'm curious about how this will affect my bloodwork, particularly my A1C (blood sugar). Plus, everybody shares success stories after the fact and then you wonder about what happened to get them from point A to B. So maybe I'll help someone by sharing my journey. I definitely feel positive about this change. I've done a lot of dieting, but down deep, I've always thought this was the best way to eat. I just didn't want to make the sacrifice. For all the reasons I've shared, it feels like I've run out of time to mess around: It's time to get real.

The Real Von Trapps

If you love the Sound of Music, then you probably will want to read this - but you probably shouldn't. It turns out, the story of the real Von Trapps has very little in common with the movie.

Still. It's fascinating.

Family Activities

My daughter is finally old enough to want to do things as a family - or, really, she's finally capable enough to do some really fun things.

And recently, she's been requesting a family night - her idea was to make bead bracelets, which, unfortunately, was a disaster because the cheap plastic string in the kiddie kit kept breaking. She was in tears when her bracelet fell apart and all the beads went dancing across the floor.

I'm going to look into better materials, but now I'm on a roll, trying to think of things for us to do. I probably don't need to say that my husband wouldn't join - he was less than thrilled with the venture of a bead bracelet. Can't say I blame him, although, really, he was a bit of a spoil sport.

The problem is, it's winter and cold here. We seldom get snow - which is, by the way, a serious impediment to most of the 'family winter activity' suggestions you find online - but we get a lot of cold and rain and gray. So, finding things that are fun and warm is a bit of a challenge. For instance, we could go to the Y and swim every Friday night, but it is a huge hassle trying to dry off before the Y closes. Plus, it's just miserable, being wet and then going out in the cold.

I'm agin' it.

So, here's a list of ideas I've found thus far:

• About.com published a list for fathers and kids, which is silly, because everybody could do anything on this list. It's got tons of snow-stuff - snowboarding, etc. The ideas I like are: Baking cookies (you could do bread, too), make a bird feeder, learn chess - complete with a link to a site that shows how parents can teach chess to kids - and the ever-popular build an indoor fort.
• There are the usuals, too, like playing games, or painting, or some such. I do scrapbook, and I suppose I could share that - but, again, the husband is the problem. He'd probably do it, but he'd be looking for an exit as soon as he could find it. Perhaps I'll just switch this concept to mother/daughter night.
• This family decided to learn how to fish and spent a whole day doing it - another great idea for spring or summer, but not the dead of winter. (Unless you live somewhere you can ice fish.)
• This family did indoor putt-putt - nice fun, if you can get it. But I don't think they offer that around here. Bowling, maybe. (Assuming you can squeeze in past the leagues!)
• Here's an idea from 365 Unplugged Family Activities: Set up a small town, dress your child up as a monster and make your own Godzilla film. We are totally doing this, just as soon as I can netflix Godzilla so she'll understand the concept.
  
• Apparently, some families enjoy beer chugging.

Not a lot to choose from. I mean, really - it takes, what, an hour to bake some cookies? And then you've got nothing to do but eat them, and I so do not need the sugar.

It's just difficult to find something that's engaging for a five year old and two adults in their late 30s. Everything is either too kid-centric or too adult-focused and boring for the child. Plus, we only have the one child, so lots of otherwise fun things loose their joy when you're dealing with just one child and two adults.

Maybe we'll just work our way through a hobby list.

Carnival of Family Life Posts

The Carnival of Family Life posted at All Rileyed Up. Looks like there are tons of good Christmas craft ideas. Gifts for Grandma, anyone?

Tis the Season for Sickness

Starting with me, everybody in my family has been sick since last Sunday.I had a stomach bug. My husband has a cold. My daughter has chronic stomach problems that I keep fearing is not the usual problems, but my stomach bug - plus it looks like she's caught her father's cold. So she stayed home today.

Nothing cramps holiday plans quite as quickly as an illness. It got me thinking, though: Should I be more aggressive about cleaning after minor illnesses? I mean, I'm having a hard enough time getting the basics done as it is.

I found this post about cleaning a baby's toys - which becomes a much bigger deal when you're dealing with a five year old instead of a baby. One woman posted this piece of advice about 10 times:

"I clean the toys at my church. The way we were taught, was to wash them in soap and water, then rinse them in a bleach solution. I fill a deep sink with hot water and add 3 tbsp bleach (the ratio should be 95% water, 5% bleach.) The trick is to let the toys dry with the bleach on them, don't rinse! If you are cleaning something big like an exersaucer, try putting the 95/5 solution in a spray bottle."

But I think I'll just buy some Lysol and go to town spraying the doorknobs and light switches.

Save Money with Family Gifts

If you're looking for a way to cut down on the holiday hassle and possibly save money, why not consider giving family gifts this year? By family gifts, I mean one gift for an entire family that encourages family togetherness.

I wrote about the idea in 2006, but I didn't mention at the time that it could be a way to cut your gift expenses. After all, you can buy a very nice family gift for everyone to share for less than you would spend on each individual.

Here's a list of family gift ideas to get you started.

The Value of Relaxing

I was perusing the early posts of this blog and was amused to discover some posts from when I was trying to give up TV. I had to smile, because it's three years later, and I'm still debating whether or not to give up TV.

Sometimes, though, everybody just need to relax: You, the spouse, the kids, even the dog. And frankly, TV is a great way to do that.

I know, I know. Technically, it's not a great way to do that. Studies have shown there are a lot better, more efficient ways for your brain to relax. But nothing feels quite as laid back and low key as just chilling in front of the TV.

We watched Air Bud and then Hercules, which has what I consider to be cartoon violence and for some reason, my daughter gets a kick out of it. Mostly, I don't let her watch it, but every now and then I watch and episode and she claims to watch it, but mostly she plays.

At one point, I asked my daughter if she wanted me to read to her or just watch TV. She loves reading, but she opted for the TV. I think she needed to feel free to do her own thing and chill, too.

Just last month, I said I wanted to cut back on the TV. And we have. But this wasn't mindless, "hey dinner's over so we now watch TV." This was a deliberate decision to call off the work hounds, call off my errands and just be together. None of us felt up to much - I suspect my daughter might be on the cusp of a stomach flu - so we watched TV, with Sweatpea sitting in my lap while I rocked and hugged her.

I think what matters is not so much the TV itself, as the message it sends my daughter - which is that even her parents are going to be 'off' for tonight. She knows we're relaxing. When we read or do other things, I get antsy and end up doing work or otherwise being busy. When we watch TV, we all slow down, sit and just be together.

Of course, my daughter and I also have the ability to talk and interactive, even with the TV on. My husband does not. Plus he was sick, so he went to bed early.

It was a relaxing evening, and I can't help but think TV was a part of that. Are there better ways? Sure. But nothing says total sloth like TV night.

Family Friendlier: Working from Home or Normal Job?

One of the reasons I've sort of dropped off the map here is I've really tried to increase my for-pay writing. I'm a freelance writer, which has been my dream forever, and since my child is now in Kindergarten (full day), I'm trying to build my business.

But I'm worried about the summer and how family friendly freelancing really is. It's always listed as a top job for moms, but mostly, it feels like I'm kidding myself. For instance, I took a nap once my husband came home and got up about the time my daughter went to bed. Why? So I could work and then be home with her tomorrow, because it's getting harder and harder to work with her at home.

I'm wondering how I'll juggle childcare with working from home during the long summer months, and, increasingly, I'm questioning whether it's really worth it. It's not like I'm writing anything I care deeply about, plus the pay is meager. Maybe I'll make $20,000 this year - maybe.

Of course, I don't work full-time. And if I had a full-time job out of my house, I'd have to give up things like being there on days off, picking her up from school, and those wonderful afternoons at the pool during June.

On the other hand, I need to make more money, and I can't help but think it would've been nice to spend tonight and tomorrow night with my family, instead of napping and working.

Plus, this schedule is hard on my healthy.

Am I robbing Peter to pay Paul? I think I may be, in more ways than one.


Family | Work/Life Balance | Time Management

No Time For Anything

Lately, I've had no time for anything. It's been all work, work, work. And sick, sick, sick. And no sleeping.

I did manage to spare some time to do a craft with my daughter yesterday, after taking her shopping to get the craft - and, yes, a few scrapbook supplies for myself.

I seriously need to put the oxygen mask on myself. On airplanes, they warn parents if the oxygen mask sign comes on, they should put the mask on themselves first and then the child. That's to ensure they don't pass out. Passed out parents are no good to children or airlines.

But I forget to put the mask on myself first ALL THE TIME. I forget it when I don't eat right, get enough sleep, exercise or just take time for myself. Before I know it, I've passed out and can't take care of myself, much less my daughter, husband, the hamster, dog or house.

Today's my day to put on my oxygen mask again. Step one: Get enough sleep and water. Get back on the diet track.