Family Friendlier: Working from Home or Normal Job?

One of the reasons I've sort of dropped off the map here is I've really tried to increase my for-pay writing. I'm a freelance writer, which has been my dream forever, and since my child is now in Kindergarten (full day), I'm trying to build my business.

But I'm worried about the summer and how family friendly freelancing really is. It's always listed as a top job for moms, but mostly, it feels like I'm kidding myself. For instance, I took a nap once my husband came home and got up about the time my daughter went to bed. Why? So I could work and then be home with her tomorrow, because it's getting harder and harder to work with her at home.

I'm wondering how I'll juggle childcare with working from home during the long summer months, and, increasingly, I'm questioning whether it's really worth it. It's not like I'm writing anything I care deeply about, plus the pay is meager. Maybe I'll make $20,000 this year - maybe.

Of course, I don't work full-time. And if I had a full-time job out of my house, I'd have to give up things like being there on days off, picking her up from school, and those wonderful afternoons at the pool during June.

On the other hand, I need to make more money, and I can't help but think it would've been nice to spend tonight and tomorrow night with my family, instead of napping and working.

Plus, this schedule is hard on my healthy.

Am I robbing Peter to pay Paul? I think I may be, in more ways than one.


Family | Work/Life Balance | Time Management

Where Did the Time Go?

One of the more ironic aspects of writing this blog is that sometimes, I don't have time to write it, particularly if I want to spend time with my family. So, if you see long gaps, that's why - that, plus my innate tendency to like TV and surfing the Internet.

My hope is that I'll be more disciplined and a more faithful blogger once my Tidbit starts school - but that's still nearly a year away.

The realization that she's headed to school - and won't need me at home full time - is sending me into an identity tail spin. I simply can't decide what happens next. Among the ideas bouncing through my head:

• Have another baby. I've always planned for two, but for a lot of reasons, that didn't happen and it's a really hard choice for me. Pregnancy just about kills me. And yet...
• Go back to school or work full- or part-time.
• Take a year off and get in better shape.
• Really dig in and work hard at my freelance career. (Complicated, since she won't be in school year round and clients aren't likely to understand I need summers off!)
• Try to start a new and different business that the whole family could participate in.
• Try to launch a mega successful blog and/or write the next Harry Potter.
• Keep going like I'm going now, same part-time freelance work, and just accept there are some things in life we'll never afford - such as retirement.
  

Right now, I spend a lot of time debating the merits of becoming a teacher versus continuing as a freelance writer. I'm even exploring getting a masters in teaching.

I've been reading "101 Secrets of Happy Families" off and on - it's one of those books you can read that way, since it's really more a series of short essays than a book. Anyway, one of the items is that Happy Families determine what they should do - not what they want to do. In other words, you stop focusing on your wants and on what needs to be done, what should be done, to further the family. This has been somewhat helpful. After all, I should do something that brings in money, adds to our future financial security and lets me still be home with my child as much as possible. So, when you look at it that way, I should be a teacher, since then my schedule and my daughter's schedule would be the same and I'd have a regular paycheck and retirement and even my own health insurance. Plus, I think I might actually like it.

(Go ahead - post about how teaching is a calling. But I know people who teach and didn't feel called. And they're good teachers. Great teachers, even. So, you may feel it's a calling, but that doesn't mean the rest of us have to. Yes, yes: I realize it's not just days with kids and summers off - I know there's a lot of work involved, including long nights of homework and prep, so just back off people! I've got an eraser and I'm not afraid to use it!)

But then again, the book says happy families support each other in achieving their full potential. And for me, I've always dreamed of being a writer. Not the kind of writer I'm being now, I'll grant you. But nonetheless, a writer. While I could be a teacher - and really enjoy it and work hard to do it well - it's not my dream.

If only my dream job came with full retirement, full salary, the ability to write what I really want and summers off: Then we'd be talking. Instead, I'm pretty much a freelance writer just to be called that. I don't really write about anything I care about. Sad, huh? I just write to pay the bills - the writer's equivalent of taking in laundry.

And then there's this question: Which is a better role model for my daughter? Should I pursue my dream or be a responsible adult and get a real job that helps my family. After all, her father has to work at a 8-5, 40-hour a week job that's less than his dream. True, he wanted to do what he does, but I'm sure he'd love to be working from home in his pajamas, spending summers with her, too. Where do I get off thinking I'm entitled to such liberty? And do I really want to raise her with these kinds of expectations?

I am working. And I'm pretty happy with my salary - though full-time work would be better and allow us to buy lots of opportunities. Not stuff - I don't want just stuff, like huge TVs or expensive cars.

But, for instance, we want to camp as a family. I feel camping is a fantastic way to teach our environmental values to our child and bond as a family. It's also something my extended family does together. But this year, I aged out of tent camping. I just can't do it anymore. I ache too much - and we've tried everything. Plus, my daughter hated it.

So, to camp, we're going to need some form of camper and a different vehicle for toying. Right now, that means we're just not going camping because we don't have the funds for all that. And I'm not sure when we will, as long as I'm freelancing.

Freelance writing worked while my daughter was young. But long-term, I'm not sure what I do now is the best bet for me or my family.

Wow. Talk about a tangent. Not my usual type of post. But there you have it: Do you follow a career that's your calling or choose a career that most helps you further your family's goals and lifestyle?

Fun Blog, Good Advice

Not long ago I stumbled across a relatively new blog, Millionaire Mommy Next Door. She uses treasure maps as a means of growing her money, which sound kooky, but I've used it and find it's a very effective tool for bringing money or whatever into your life. I make no claims as to understanding how it works - I suspect it's because it focuses your brain to look for opportunities, but some people view it as a form of prayer.

Anyway, I wanted to point out an excellent post titled "How to Make Money Management a Family Affair." The title is a bit too broad, since it doesn't really talk about getting the whole family involved in financial decisions so much as it focuses on teaching your child about money.

She mentions you can make a five-year-old a millionaire by 65 with a one time contribution of $9875 OR a monthly contribution of only $57. She provides a link, which also says you can achieve it with a $98 monthly contribution through age 18.

Right now, I put aside $30 a month for a college fund. Not enough, probably, but it should be about $7200 by the time she goes to college, at 8 percent. I'd love to make my child a millionaire, but I also would love to retire. So, maybe I'll focus more on the other tips so she can make her own million!

Family Finances | Money Management | Teaching Children About Money

The Crazy Cost of Family Health Insurance

Did you know premiums for family health coverage have increased 78 percent since 2001?

By comparison, wages rose 19 percent and the inflation rate was 'only' 17 percent, according to this Columbus Business First article.

No wonder my husband's pay raises never seem to result in more money for us. I know it's the insurance, too, because my husband gets his pay increase in March and a cost of living adjust in January. However - the insurance plan doesn't change until July. This year, it ate up his entire pay raise, plus a three percent a cost of living adjust - and then some. Not only that - but our co-pays went up!

The article also included this cheering statistic:

Workers on average now contribute an average of about $3,281, or 27 percent, of their paychecks for a family plan.

Health Insurance | Family Finances

Family Finances

This month, I've been tackling our family finances.

Thanks to a frugal upbringing, I entered my adult life without debt. My husband, alas, did not. In fact, because he decided to leave the Marine ROTC after receiving two-years of tuition at Boston college, he entered his post-college life with around $60,000 in debt.

He managed to wipe out more than $50,000 by joining the Navy and serving four years as an enlisted man - quite possibly, he ws the only enlisted man at the base who had a four-year degree.

Time and time again, I've read that money is the number one cause of divorce. It really doesn't have to be this way.

There are lots of online resources to help you get out of debt and manage money. And there are different ways of making it work if you and your spouse have different ideas about how to manage money. For years, one of my friends and her husband held separate accounts. They split their bills, each paying a percentage based on income. This worked for them for years. After the birth of their child, they merged accounts but by this time, they were on the same page financially, more or less, and they have an incredibly strong marriage and are financially healthy today.

When I married my husband, we set out to knock out the debt immediately. We went to extremes to do this: One car, beans for dinner, a crappy apartment, no new furniture and thrift store clothes. Of course, the fact that the Navy provided all his work clothes helped a lot on the wardrobe budget. I drew a bar chart on a piece of ruled paper and tacked it to our fridge. Each month, I'd color in our debt contribution, so we could see our progress.

We're debt free - except for our mortgage - and now we're applying those same techniques to savings. Yes, sometimes we still haggle over money, but we're never overwhelmed by our financial situation.

Here's an article to help you if you're dealing with family and financial stress. I particularly like the advice about setting aside money for your basic needs first. I would add a few more tips, though:

• Set aside some money for savings. The rule of thumb is 10 percent, but if you can only save $10, then do that. Saving may seem like a luxury, but it's not. It's the only way to get out of debt in the long run. By creating a savings, you're building a cushion to pay for emergencies without incuring more debt. When we were young, lived in an apartment and had no children, I found that a $200-500 emergency fund would take care of most emergencies. When we bought a house, we needed more like $1000. Now that we have a child, I've realized we need more like $5000-$10,000 to comfortably deal with the myriad of things that can go wrong in a given year. We're not there yet, but we're working on it.
• Decide how much you can pay on debt. If this is below what creditors want you to pay, then contact them and tell them what you will be paying. Really, devote 10 percent of your take-home to debt reduction and find a way to live off the rest. If you have more to spend, then you can try Dave Ramsey's Snowball approach or you can pay down the highest interst debt first. The first is psychologically rewarding and may be the carrot you need to keep going. The second is financially 'smarter' but can be discouraging if you have tons of different bills and collectors calling.
• Cut expenses and stop spending. Some people call this "budgeting." If you hate that term, here's an easy fix for you: Grab some envelopes, get 70-80 percent of your money in cash and then start dividing it into the envelopes. Label the envelopes: Rent, food, gas, utilities, phone, clothes, household. Put more in food than you think you'll need. Not enough for clothes and households? Shop yardsales and thrift stores. Ask for clothes for your birthday. If you run out of gas, walk, carpool or take the bus.
  
• Get another job. Hey, no one should ever be too good to deliver pizza. Not your teen, not your spouse, not you.