How Many Children Go Hungry in Your State?

Do you know how many households in your state are considered "Food Insecure?" Do you know how many children are living in poverty? Find out by visiting America's Second Harvest's Child Food Insecurity Statistics Map.

While you're on the site, join the Hunger Action Center.


Hunger | Children

Raising a Heart-Healthy Child

While researching heart disease for a client, I stumbled across a great resource for families from the American Heart Association. This page for parents offers great tips for improving your child's health, from steps you can take to get your child moving - even your non-athlete - to tips for healthy fast food meals.

I particularly like the tips on dealing with a picky eater. My first step will be to reclaim our dinner table as a dinner table. Right now, it's where we do all our coloring, painting and computer work. (Ick!)

If your child does have a heart condition, be sure to check out the Disease, Conditions and Treatment page, which includes a nice section called "Ask the Pediatric Cardiologist."

While you're there, you might as well read up on what you can do to protect yourself and your SO from heart disease. Here's a few tips, though, in case you're too busy to peruse the site:

• Stop smoking and don't hang around smokers
• Eat low-fat dairy
• Avoid saturated fats
• The new recommendations for exercise: 60-90 minutes on most days if you're overweight!
• Lose weight

When Last We Spoke: Goals for the 2007

Before this year began, I identified six New Year's goals for myself and my family. Wonder how I'm doing on those goals?

Well. May I speak frankly?

Not so well. The truth is, I've been very depressed the past few months. I believe this is leftover emotions from the miscarriage. But, finally, I'm feeling better. And I'm much more interested in doing things and living life again. So, I'm not beating myself up for just now getting to my goals. And I hope you won't either.

Now, back to the goals:
My first goal was simple: Show the Love.

I believe I've made progress on this. I cook more for my family. I give more spontaneous hugs. I never pass up a chance to rock my Little Bit - I know the days of that are numbered and I don't want to miss any opportunity. In the afternoons, we often rock and read five or six books at a sitting. It's fabulous. I believe my attitude has shifted and our family atmosphere is more congenial and pleasant. Though I do wish I had an extra bucket of patience for my four-year-old's boundary testing. Sometimes, her attitude makes us all a bit grouchy. Perhaps I should explain that to her?

Goal two: Build Family Identity. What I meant by this was to do chores, family dinner and other tasks together as a family. I also included doing activities that would reflect the values we wanted to instill in our child.

This is where I've really dropped the ball. While my hubby and I often eat together, we don't make our daughter sit down with us because I haven't paid attention to her snack times and she's snacked so much she's full. I also haven't enforced cleaning up together well.

As for volunteering, well, that fell of the face of the earth. It's really hard to find a way to volunteer with a preschooler. And I haven't had the energy. I still do want to send some of her old toys overseas, but we haven't had a chance to go through them. That sounds like a good plan for this week.

Goal Three: Become a Healthy Family. Wow. Have we totally neglected this. As a result, my husband and I are heavier and Little Bit isn't getting the exercise she needs. We are, however, being more diligent about sleep. Now that spring's surfacing, I hope we'll make a quick recovery here!

Goal Four: Widen Our Family Circle. We've been discussing them. I am trying to cultivate a few friendships more, but really, there hasn't been the energy or the wellness, (cold & flu season makes everyone stay in more). We still do our Thursday night dinners, though.

Goal Five: Be a Financially Responsible Family. This is where I've really done the work. We're on a budget using the old fashioned envelope system for things where we tend to overspend - dining out, auto fuel, (because we tack on snacks at the station), and entertainment. We're also saving more and cutting back on unfulfilling expenses. Part of this goal was to write a will. I'm pleased to report we've found an attorney to do our will - now we just need to get our tax refund so we can pay for it!

And the last goal: Create a Family-Friendly Home. We're trying some experiments here. Nothing major - just moving things around, putting toys in places where the family hangs out, moving the TV downstairs so it isn't the center of our life. I'm working on a backyard garden that will be a great place for my child to play. So, progress.

I'd love ideas for how I can achieve these goals.

Update

Wow. I haven't posted in forever. Sorry about that. Twas the season for sickness and general blahs where I live.

This weekend, my family celebrated the return of the sun by gardening Saturday and hitting the road on Sunday. Our destination? Dinosaur World!

Using nothing but my wits, a printer and an Internet connection, I discovered a coupon on their site for free children's gift with a purchased children's ticket. So, with the touch of a button and the whirl of a printer cartridge, I turned into SuperMom, Finder of Free Dinosaur!

Dinosaur World, for those of you who might have missed this wonder, is a place with big plaster of Paris, (or some such durable substance), Dinosaurs. There is no effort to do real sizes, though there did seem to be some ratio of size among the dinosaur statutes, i.e., the little dinosaurs were smaller than the bigger dinosaurs and it could've been proportionate. But who knows? Who cares? This is roadside kitsch with a twist of education. And my Little Bit thought it was better than a Peanut Butter sandwich.

And here's the moral of the story: In your Big Dreams for your family - trip to Disney, visit Europe, pay for college - it's easy to overlook the little, nearby, cheap joys your children will love and remember years from now. It may look like old, badly painted crap to you, but it's a wonder world to them. And if it's Dinosaur World, it has just enough scare to really thrill a preschooler.

A Quick Trick for Building Family

Much of what's written about building family focuses on rituals, such as family game nights or family meetings. While these are important for building family unity, most family bonding happens in the seemingly insignificant, simple moments of the day.

How simple? Maybe as simple as making eye contact.

In How to Build Family Unity, the author suggests making eye contact for a mere five minutes a day could bond you with your family and even change how your children act.

According to this piece, researchers studied depressed mothers and children while they waited to see the psychiatrists. The women were distant and didn't interact much with the children, who were rowdy and, frankly, horrible. Then, the women were asked to give each child five minutes of eye contact each day. They saw a huge difference in how the children behaved. They started to play quietly in the waiting rooms, and the mothers quit complaining of feeling overwhelmed and fatigued. Here's why this worked:

The explanation for these rewards was that the children were looking to their mothers for a sense of leadership as well as a sense of safety. Prior to eye gazing, the children were lacking cues that would tell them that focused play was safe to do. Their loud tones and frantic bounces were a sign of their distress and a desire on their part to force confrontation in order to be acknowledged.

Similarly, each person in a family desires to be seen and heard by the rest of his/her tribe. Eye gazing for as little as 5 minutes each day is one way to demonstrate a family member's importance.

It also talks about other acts of bonding, such as practical jokes and playing games together. I'd never thought of it, but according to this, the games teach families how to function as a team.

The design is a bit confusing. There's a headline, then you'll have to scroll past some ads to read the actual article. Unfortunately, it doesn't include a citation for the study. I'd love to confirm this research.

For the next seven days, I'm going to experiment with a family bonding tip I recently stumbled across. I'll report back on my efforts.

Family Bonding | Family

When You Don't Feel Like Being Family

Writing a blog on family causes you to spend a lot more time thinking about, reading about, and being involved with family.

But sometimes, I just don't feel like being with family. Or even in a family. I want to bury my head in YouTube and forget my obligations. I'm all out of care and just want to be left alone.

I get burned out - and not just from being a mom. I get tired of being a wife, tired of being a sibling, a friend, an in-law - tired of being anything. I just want to be my selfish self.

Most people feel this way and push through it. But I'm horribly self-indulgent when I get in these moods. I really do need to be selfish for at least a day - sometimes more. I need people to understand I'm out of give. Sometimes, relationships don't even seem worth the effort.

When it's really bad, I feel like I'm out of love and I can't see how I'll ever find it again. There's too much heartbreak and too little benefit. I think, "This is just unhealthy and messed up. What am I doing wasting my time here?"

And I start looking for the nearest exit.

It's not always a bad idea. Just because saber tooth tigers don't exist any more doesn't mean our flight or fight response is useless. I'd do better in life to listen to mine more often rather than second-guessing it with my over-developed sense of obligation.

But more often than not, I'm wrong. The truth is, my best memories are of time with family and the deepest happiness I've felt have been because of family.

I need to remember that I'm dealing with real humans, not actors playing roles they've been assigned in my life story.

Just because someone should act a certain way doesn't mean they will or even that they can. And maybe, just maybe, my expectations are too high.

Then I remember love isn't just a feeling. Love is a commitment, a promise. We may not always feel the love, but we have a commitment to love. Eventually, the feeling returns. But in the meantime, the commitment is what pulls us through the rough patches.

During these times, I need to be patient with myself and those I love. I don't have to do extra ordinary shows of affection or go that extra mile - I just have to be there and be committed to staying there.

Eventually, the love always returns.

Family | Family Problems