You're born into a family, but great families are created through intention and daily effort. That's why I'm exploring what it means to be a family and experimenting with how we can strengthen family ties. I'll find the best day-to-day ideas and tips for building family and share my family's efforts to shift from couch potatoes to embracing life together.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Restless Thoughts
Recently, I've been thinking that maybe, just maybe, security isn't the end all and be all of family life.
Right now, our life is secure. We live near family, Hubby's job is very secure, with a good retirement, decent salary and our town is very safe. We have friends that we see frequently and we attend a nice church, which my Little Bit likes very much.
For four years, Hubby and I lived in Oklahoma City, and it was hard. He was enlisted in the military - a reliable job, but not a good job. I couldn't find work for nearly a year. The first year, we had a crappy, flea infested apartment with a drug dealer for a neighbor. Our nearest friends and family were at least a seven hour drive away. Eventually, we did make a few friends, I found a job and we moved to a better apartment. But for two of our four years, it was hell.
When we returned, we were grateful to be in a city that offered something other than rodeo and where we knew more than five people. So, we immediately began putting down roots. Then Little Bit came into the picture and it seemed we'd settled for life.
But life has a funny way of throwing you curve balls and lately, we've been thinking maybe we've settled too soon. We're wondering if we should pull up and travel a bit, while Little Bit is still small enough to just need us.
We can't really afford to just take off for New Zealand or Italy for three months. So, Hubby would probably find a job - possibly on contract - and then we'd move somewhere and live there for a year or two before heading home.
Of course, people do this for their careers. But as itt turns out, some families do choose this lifestyle just so they can see and experience the world. In "Living Abroad with Children: It’s Easier Than You Think," one family shares their experience with relocating from Indiana to Dubai.
But I've had a bad experience. And I'm not alone: One couple I know spent a year in Germany and made no friends the entire year. They had a child and were very lonely.
So before we went overseas, I'd want to try another U.S. city first - just to make sure we could make it on our own.
It's a tempting proposition. In exchange for security, safety and seeing grandparents every week, I could give my daughter a bigger world, possibly a new language and a unique experience that would impact her - and me - all of her life. Plus, Hubby and I could realize a long suppressed dream of traveling and living in other places.
Ultimately, I think it could be a very positive, bonding experience for the three of us. The question is: Would we ever be able to truly come home again?
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2 comments:
We, too, occassionally discuss picking up and moving to a new city. But I'm too chicken, and I really do love being close to my family 90% of the time. More than that, when I research my city as if I don't live here, I find all sorts of opportunities that I am missing in my mundane life. If I'm not taking advantage of these things here, would I take advantage of another city's offerings? Or would my life just resume it's natural rhythm in a new location?
As I see it, no matter where I live, I am still me. Unless I change myself, changing my location is essentially cosmetic.
Hey Loraine,
Great Blog!
Go For It!!
One day you'll turn around and you'll be twenty years older than you are now and wondering what it would have been like. Why not give them and you the opportunity to see the world. You may find that you don't want to come 'home' or you may end up making somewhere else home.
Keep up the great writing Loraine!
Craig Harper (Melbourne, Australia)
http://www.craigharper.com.au/index.htm
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